Tigerstar's Nightmare
by PopNyanChan
Summary: Let's face it, never eat anchovies before you god to bed, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE TIGERSTAR. He felt Awful. so awful, he remembered all of his worst experiences...
1. Chapter 1

**Ninja: Welcome to Tigerstar's Nightmare. **

**Potawtoes: ~gulp~**

**Shadow: heyo, where's Firestar?**

**Firestar: here.**

**Shadpw: Could you go get me some pizza.**

**Firestar: sure. ~walks off~**

**Nadie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no on to the story.**

**Jayfeather: Nadie doesn't own Harry Potter, Ice Age, Warriors,-**

**Nadie: yeah, we get it.**

**Jayfeather: -and a whole bunch of other stuff included in this chapter .**

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><p>Anchovies… Uggh… yummm…..Tigerstar thought. Oh how I love anchovies…. As Tigerstar lay in his nest, he thought about the 15 anchovies he had eaten about an hour ago. Now he was starting to feel pretty weird… Let's face it, never eat anchovies before you go to bed, ESPECCISALY IF YOU ARE TIGERSTAR. He felt awful. So awful, he remembered all his worst experiences….<p>

Being called Potawtoes, being forced to do the hula whilst in a fairy costume whilst singing Magnet with Firestar, seeing Draco Malfoy, being jabbed with a marshmellow spork Yellow blaster and a popsicle spear, being forced to eat Brussels sprouts whilst listening to Nyan cat, being killed by a midget, getting all his fur died pink with red and purple hearts, being attacked by flying Evil Dancing Hamsters and popsicles and a Raccoon named Blackfoot, being locked in a closet with Foxpaw and Icepaw while they were off their meds, playing a game of got your nose with Voldemort, which had gone terribly wrong, watching Lucius Malfoy dance to the song 'Get Down', watching a movie about birth, being forced to sit through a documentary on eggplants, watching Fred and George Weasley laugh hysterically at him when he ate some puking pastles, being beaten by Ninja's spiky bow staff, being brutally mauled by a baby duck in a tu tu, being Ninja's sparring partner for tae kwon do, meting Edward Cullen, being shoved into a wall by Ninja and Nadie whilst they repeatedly screamed "BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!", BEING LECTURED BY SNAPE, being eaten alive by Hatsune Mikuo because he tasted like strawberries, being shaved bald by Nadie while being forced to sing show tunes, Watching Edward Cullen and Cedric Diggory do a jig, Having hiccupped while using a toothpick thus choking on it, Being disowned by his own mother, Meeting the other half of the people he knows, spending a year with Nadie's younger twin brothers, being tickled to death by Bluestar, being told off by Oakheart, being eaten by a Ylime, but spat out because he's a disgusting tasting cat anyways, being buried alive in broccoli, watching Voldemort sleep with a pink Teddy bear, being stomped on by Shadow, being served at Firestars dinner party as a fruitcake along with Draco Malfoy, being thrown into a pie vat whilst Ninja Nadie and Shadow repeatedly screamed "ENDLESS PIE!", being forced to listen to Dell Honne's Popipo, being pelted with colored pencils, skipping through a field of flowers whilst singing at the top of his lungs 'GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!', having his blood circulation cut off by sillybandz, being turned into a popsicle and being eaten by Korean children, being a villain in the Mario games, being beaten with a Leek by Miku Hatsune for eating all of her Leek icecream, watching his own son become a fruitcake, racing against shadow, stealing the red queen's tarts when he appeared in the wrong book at the wrong time, having Shadow die his fur rainbow tye dye, having his Facebook page hacked so it read 'Potawtoes likes pink fluffy unicorns and dances in a tu tu', going to Voldemort's Christmas party, being chased by shadow clan's whole stash of pickles, being drowned in a kiddy pool by Nadie Shadow and Ninja, going down a waterslide at sandcastle, having his own bloodline rejected by Starclan AND the Dark forest(shame shame shame x3), trying to take over Walmart and failing, seeing Edward Cullen in a bathing suit, being cooked by Korean children and served at a Canadian tea party for old men and newborn males, being Aphrodite's daughter, being held hostage in a canary cage, being electrocuted by Zeus for being a cross-dresser(something we all know the Gods frown down upon), belly dancing with Dr. Eggman, sat on by Bowser, being eaten by Kirby, being run over by the Bat Mobile, being stabbed with a crest toothbrush by a bald man in a white bathrobe, eating the Dark side's Oatmeal brand cookies, sitting through 5 hours of Jar Jar Bink's autobiography, as told by Jar Jar Binks, reading professor Snape's Diary, losing a race to a Bald man in a toga, being turned to gold by the god Midas, being crushed by a collapsible sofa, having breath that smells of Mushrooms and Gatorade, being hugged to death by a pink Panda, getting his panties caught on fire, being barfed up by Mr. Creasode, being tickled to death by Firestar and his Detachable Gingerbread Claws, being slobbered on by Odie, being turned into a cockroach by some psychopath, being stalked by the creepy sun from Telletubbies in the dark forest, not having an attractive sister, eating 50 atomic hot sauce chicken wings, being chased by a pack of wolves in a field of Daises, being eaten by King Boo, being in love with a raw salmon, only to have it eaten by river clan cats, being called an ugly baby, not being able to haz cheeseburgers, being flushed down a toilet by Onestar, looking like a Barbie Ken doll that was half way microwaved, being microwaved by Brazillians, Gossiping with the shadow clan shecats, failing on easy gituar hero, being chased by dobby and Kreacher, being chased by the Aflac duck, wrecking a helicopter, being a hobo at some point in time, being spat on by Tina the Lama, Nadie Shadow and Ninja learning he sucked his deposable thumb, not matching Scrat's awesome Ninja skills, trying to get French Ogars to come to the Dark side, and being turned into an Ardvark. Seriously, what a life.

Tigerstar soon fell asleep, only to be woken again by the screaming of the cursed name. "POTAWTOES POTAWTOES POTAWTOES!" Nadie and Shadow and Ninja screamed. OH NO! Tigerstar panicked.

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><p><strong>Nadie: and there you have it!<strong>

**Shadow: I feel no pity! :3**

**Potawtoes: ~gulp~**

**Ninja: wow, being called an ugly baby… that's harsh :3**

**Potawtoes: WAAH! WAAAAAAAHHHH!**

**Firestar: HAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW YOU-**

**Lionblaze: WE KNOW!**

**Jayfeather: let me resolve this problem ~waves paw to use Jedi mind trick~**

**Luna: he seems to have a lot of Nargles in his head. Poor kitty.**

**Shadow: uh huh. Sure. Whatever. **

**Miku: REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Nadie: SHORT CHAPTER SORRY!**

**Ninja: -_-**

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><p><em>Tigerstar soon fell asleep, only to be woken again by the screaming of the cursed name. "POTAWTOES POTAWTOES POTAWTOES!" Nadie and Shadow and Ninja screamed. OH NO! Tigerstar panicked.<em>

They stopped yelling after a while, and followed right beside Tigerstar. Tigerstar didn't like that at ALL.

"Hmmm… I'm bored. What should we do?" Ninja asked.

"I don't know…"Nadie said. All of a sudden Tigerstar was wearing some Fairy costume doing a Hula.

Ninja gladly joined the hula as Tigerstar continued.

" glack I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SOMEONE HELP MEEE!" He screamed.

" Come onnn, keep dancing or you'll be forced to sing Magnet with Firestar." Ninja glared at him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tigerstar screamed, as he continued doing the hula.

" NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!" Firestar appeared from behind a bush yowling.

" I think we should force him to sing Magnet with Firestar anyways.." Ninja suggested.

" WHAA? NOOOO!" Firestar yowled again.

"Why torture Firestar?" Nadie asked.

" 'Cuz it's fun." Ninja responded waving her wand. So Firestar, under ninja's imperius curse, sang the first part of Magnet. Then Tigerstar found himself singing as well, and he couldn't no matter how hard he tried stop. Then all of a sudden, Draco Malfoy popped up out of the bushes screaming: BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER ! At the top of his lungs.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tigerstar all but died. Then, Nadie Ninja and Shadow jabbed him with a marshmellow spork, Popsicle spear, and yellow blaster.

"Nooooooooooooo!" He screamed again. This was going to be the WORST day ever!

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><p><strong>Nadie: Sorry so short, I'll make it up to you in the next chapter :3<strong>

**Ninja: It's about time you published chapter two though. -_-**

**Shadow: ~finds a house elf behind bookcase~**

**Nadie: DOBBBY! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE IN THE 7 TH BOOK!**

**Dobby: Mistress Nadeshko! Shadow! Ninja! How long it's been!**

**Jayfeather: Dobby!**

**Dobby: Master Jayfeather!**

**~GLOMPS~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Potawtoes: ~sings tio tune of I'm a Little Tea Pot~ I'm a little kitty short and stout; here is my nosie-**

**Nadie: Shut your holepie.**

**Ninja: ~giggles~**

**Shadow: Hole Pie?**

**Nadie: yesh! X3**

**Jayfeather: No one owns anything. -.-**

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><p>And then-WHAM!- everything went black.<p>

"Open wide little kitty." Nadie grinned. Tigerstar jumped only to find that he couldn't jump.

"WHAT DID YOU- GLAHRGAFLARGEN" Nadie shoved Huge indigestible Brussels sprouts down Tigerstar's throat.

"Ninja, get the music." Shadow giggled. Ninja turned on the huge radio and blasted NYAN CAT as loud as it could go. Then all of a sudden, He was transported to the battle of blood clan.

"Where's your ancestors now?" Scourge hissed. He took one horrible claw in the air and ripped it down Tigerstar's flank. He let out a yowl of pain but then The image vanished and instead Tigerstar found himself pinned to a wall, by none other than the girl herself, Shadow.

"where is everyone else? Do you know? Tell me?" She growled.

" ~glack~ I don't know! I swear!" Tigerstar yelled.

"Cool. It's just me and you then. One on one." She smirked devilishly. He gulped hard.

"THE RACE IS ON!" Shadow grabbed a Tron Motorcycle and sped off. Tigerstar looked around. There wasn't another tron motorcycle in sight! Only a Barbie Ken doll motorcycle- wait a second… Tigerstar thought. Making up his mind, He grabbed the Ken motorcycle and slowly moved along.

5 minutes later…

Tigerstar crossed the finish line only to be grabbed from behind and dunked under freezing cold water. A hand came and put a strange shampoo in his fur and he gasped when it was over. There in the mirror was himself, Pink fur with red and purple hearts.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yowled in terror. And yet again was he plunged into blackness.

This time, when Tigerstar opened his eyes it was still dark.

"OH LOOKIE HERE! HE'S AWAKE!" Tiger recognized that voice.

"I LIKE PICKLES AND POPTARTS! WHAT DO YOU LIKE?" Icepaw and Foxpaw asked in unison.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tigerstar yowled again, and was swept away.

"GOT YOUR NOSIE!" Voldemort yelled in his ear.

"No you don't." Tigerstar responded dryly.

"Yes I do, see? LOOK!" Voldemort held out his hand and Tigerstar let out a shreik of terror at the sight of his very own cat nose.

"Sir watch this-" Lucius Malfoypopped in the picture and started dancing.

"NOOOOOOO!" Tigerstar yowled for the third time in this bizarre dream and was swept away.

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><p><strong>Nadie: Tee hee back to work.<strong>

**Shadow: ~has Potawtoes in a headlock~**

**Ninja: see ya next time on POTAWTOES NIGHTMARE!**

**Jayfeather: whatever just review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Nadie: WELCOMES ONE AND ALL TO POTAWTOES' NIGHTMARE!**

**Shadow: grin~**

**Ninja: grins~**

**Jayfeather: Nadie doesn't own.  
><strong>

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><p><em>Last time an Potawtoes' Nightmare:<em>

_"GOT YOUR NOSIE!" Voldemort yelled in his ear. "No you don't." Tigerstar responded dryly. "Yes I do, see? LOOK!" Voldemort held out his hand and Tigerstar let out a shreik of terror at the sight of his very own cat nose. "Sir watch this-" Lucius Malfoypopped in the picture and started dancing. "NOOOOOOO!" Tigerstar yowled for the third time in this bizarre dream and was swept away._

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><p>"So what should we do with him?" Tigerstar awoke to the sound of voices.<p>

"He looks like a nice Kittty, so… HEY I KKNOW!"

"What?"

"Let's make him watch a documentary on eggplants!"

"Good Idea!"

Tigerstar started to Panic. Of all things eggplants! Why not pickle juice?

"Okay kitty." At that moment Tigerstar found who was speaking. GAKUPO AND LUKA!

"NO! STAY AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO WATCH A DOCUMENTARY ON EGGPLANTS!" He yowled.

"Too bad." And then Tigerstar was taken away again, This time he was sitting in the Great Hall from Harry Potter, vomiting a rainbow of cookies and Brussels sprouts, whilst Fred and George were laughing at him.

"GLAHRGAFLARGENNARGAHARGEN!" He yowled, and then he was knocked unconscious. Awakening on a white fluffy cloud, He stared at the rainbows and pretty butterflies swirling around his head. _Am I dead? _He asked himself, but he knew that was not possible, seeing he already died and belonged in the dark forest.

"QUACK!"

_Oh no…_

"QUACK QUACK!" Turning, Tigerstar saw a baby duckling in a tutu, staring up at him with malice in it's eyes. The duck took a step forward, and he took a step back. This continued until Tigerstar found himself running backwards and then-

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

-he fell of the edge and plummeted to Earth.

"Wher am I?" Tigerstra muttered after hitting the ground.

"Hello, I'm-"

"AAAAAAH!" Tigerstar screeched. Standing before him was none other than Edward Cullin, in all his sparkling Villainry.

"DEAR DARK FOREST HELP MEEE!" and then, he was swallowed up by darkness.

"HEY LOOK! LET'S BOTHER POTAWTOES!" Nadie yelled in his ear.

"Good Idea." Ninja agreed. Tigerstar was picked up and shoved into a wall.

"BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!" They screamed.

"HELP!" Tigerstar yowled.

"Mr star, you have missed five weeks of potions class and I have no choice but to…" Snape started.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tigerstar yowled.

"MR STAR! HOW DARE YOU TANK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Snape scolded whilst Nadie and Ninja giggled. Suddenly Tigerstar was once again swept away into another area.

Then all of a sudden Nadie picked Tigerstar up by the scruff and screamed "WHY! WHY THIS!" and then threw Tigerstar to Magane Len.

" ewwww, get this thing away from me!" Magane Len shouted.

" My pleasure!" Shadow happily grabed Tigersatr by the scruff and made him watch Cedric Diggory and Edward Cullen do a jig.

"AHHHHH! MY EYES! THEY'RE MELTING!" He screamed.

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><p><strong>Shadow: haha your eyes just melted.<strong>

**Potawtoes: ~cries eyes out~**

**Nadie: :D**

**Ninja: one of many goals achieved. :D**

**Dobby: :)**

**Jayfeather and Lionblaze: Okays, REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow. Looking back on this story is really weird xD Enjoy the continuation of Tigerstar's Nightmare~!**

**_Disclaimer: not owned by Nadie~!_**

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><p><em>This is the worst thing that ever could have happened to anyone... Dear Starclan above, I hate everything.<em> Tigerstar paced around in the clearing, waiting for something else to happen.

Nothing did.

_Odd,_ he thought, glancing around with his ears pricked and nose upturned. He couldn't sense anyone, much less Ninja, Shadow or Nadie. Maybe... Maybe they all died.

He snickered at the thought of the child twolegs drowning in one of their odd obsessions, such as cheese or Vocaloid perhaps. _Or... what did they call that one thing...? It started with a 'Y'._

Yorky?

...Yoery?

Yaoi?

He didn't know, nor did he care enough to dwell on the matter. He just imagined their screams as they drowned in whatever imaginable.

After a few minutes of sitting around and vividly imagining his tormentor's deaths, he became aware of a piece of something lodged in his mouth. He tried to pluck it out with his claw, but it would not loosen. _Son of a fox!_ He thought, growling in frustration.

All of a sudden, he looked down at his paw when it started burning. He lifted it to inspect it and realized that he had stepped on a rather short stick.

_A tooth pick? Here? Thank the dark stars!_ He thought as he lifted it to his mouth and picked at the piece of whatever stuck to his teeth. He almost had the thing scratched out of the space between his front canine and other tooth when he did the worst thing imaginable.

He _hiccupped._

The toothpick flew into his throat and pricked it to the point that he choked to oblivion. He couldn't breathe or think, until something grabbed him and smacked him on the back.

The small piece of wood flew out of his mouth and clattered onto the ground, and the someone harshly let him fall with his face-first onto the ground.

"Thanks a lot," He hissed with a sharp cough.

**"YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL YOU FOX-HEARTED, LIVER-EATING SON-OF-A-BI-!"**

Tigerstar knew that voice. He knew it all to well.

"Mother?"  
><strong><br>"WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS YOU HORSEFLYING FISHFACE?"**

"I thought you were-"  
><strong><br>"ENOUGH, DEMON CHILD! I GROW WEARY OF YOUR DISHEARTENED, PRESSURIZED GLUTEUS MAXIMUS!"**

"But I don't even have a-"

**"DON'T GET SMART WITH ME MISTER PICKLENOSE. I AM HEREBY DISOWNING YOU AND DAMMING YOU TO THE POINT WHERE YOU BECOME LEN"** His mother screeched, scratching him.

He hurtled away, only to turn and see his mother hot on his paws. Then, just as she pounced, she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What-"

It seemed that the great Starclan above did not want him to speak. He flew through the air and landed at someone's feet- he looked up in shock and realized that this nightmare just got worse.

Kae-kae grinned down at him.

"Potawtoes!"

Dear stars, they had been **trained! **

Trained in the ways of evil with more malice than that of the eye of sauron's gaze!

"Potawtoes! Potawtoes!" Dak joined in Kae-kae's shouting with a wild ferocity in his eyes. Then they yodelled his name through the night. Tigerstar fled away, ducking under bushes and scrambling away until their overzealous voices faded from earshot.

"Thank... the..." Tigerstar stopped speaking as he came face to face with (one) of his worst fears.

Bluestar with the cinammon gingerbread claws of tickling death and destruction.

"TIGERSTAR, YOU ARE HERE-BY BANISHED FROM THUNDERCLAN!" Bluestar's voice rang through his ears as she leapt onto him and tickled him to oblivion, the gingerbread claws grabbing every inch of his fur and scratching.

He howled in laughter and spat with rage as Bluestar giggled maliciously.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT! DIE, TRAITOR! FOOL! YOU ARE LESS THAN THE MUSTACHE OF A DOG'S GOLDFISH'S HAMSTER!"

"HAHAHA" Was all he could say. Th ginger cinnamon claws tickled to no avail until suddenly Bluestar was replaced by something much more horrifying.

"Tigerstar, you killed me. Prepare to watch your doom," He said. Tigerstar scoffed.

"What doom? Then only doom here is that of which happened when Bluestar and you had kits. Idiots, the lot of them."

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU MOTHERLESS SWINE. AT LEAST I LOVE BLUESTAR AND SHE LOVES ME. YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET GOOSEFEATHER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

Goosefeather randomly appeared.

"Do you need some ice? I can see that burn from here."

He disappeared much in the way he appeared.

Oakheart smirked maliciously at him with eyes that smothered his very being and scorned him into the earth.

"Ha. Take that, Dog whiskers."

Tigerstar growled. _Could this night get any worse than it had already?_

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><p><strong><em>Muahahahaha<em>**


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